Laughter is essential in life and in this sense jokes play an important role in tickling. Start your day with these 100+ funniest jokes that will make you cry. Based on suggestions from our team members, we’ve put together these hilarious jokes for you. I hope you enjoy our collection of 100+ “Frankest Jokes That Will Make You Cry”. These one liners also make great custom t-shirts to give to your friends or to show off your geeky and weird side.
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100 funny jokes that will make you cry
- What do you call a hippie’s wife? A Mississippi!
- What did the duck say when she bought lipstick? Put it on my bill!
- I hate russian dolls. You are so confident.
- What state is a noodle in if it doesn’t feel good enough? – Impasta Syndrome!
- Dear life, when I said, “Can my day get any worse?” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.
- I’m so sick of saying, “Oh shit, my mask…”. Like I’m Batman or something.
- Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the toilet? Because the “P” is silent
- What do you call an angry carrot? A steamed vegetable.
- What would bears be without bees? ears.
- What did the triangle say to the circle? you are pointless
- What do lawyers wear in court? Complain.
- What did one toilet say to the other? you look red
- What do sprinters eat before the race? Nothing. they are fasting.
- What is Forrest Gump’s password? 1Forest1.
- What did the tomato say to the other tomato during a race? Ketchup.
- What do you call a sad strawberry? A blue berry!
- What do cows read most? cattle tribes.
- What did 0 say to 8? “Nice belt.”
- Why are mushrooms invited to all parties? Because they are such mushrooms.
- What does a spy do when he’s cold? He goes undercover.
- What do you call a man with rubber toes? Roberto!
- Where did the computer dance? The disco!
- What do bees do when they need a ride? Wait at the bus stop!
- Why don’t you ever hear a pterodactyl going to the toilet? Because the pee is silent.
- Why did the Scarecrow win an award? Because he excelled in his field.
- What do you call a sad cup of coffee? depresso
- How did his girlfriend’s phone propose marriage? He gave her a ring.
- What do you give a sick lemon? lemon help!
- What did the little mountain say to the bigger mountain? Hello Cliff!
- One night a plane was broken into and all the toilet paper was stolen. When police came to investigate, their report was inconclusive as they had nothing to rely on.
- What did the fish say when it hit the wall? DAM!
- Maybe money can’t buy happiness, but I think it’s only fair to learn that lesson for yourself.
- I’ll admit my level of weirdness is above average, but I’m comfortable with it.
- What happens when a snowman throws a tantrum? He’s having a nervous breakdown.
- What did the janitor say as he jumped out of the closet? deliveries!
Hilarious Jokes That Will Make You Cry: One-Liners
- My friend is in jail for flashing; he says he can’t take it anymore.
- I said to my friend, “Let’s take turns appointing American vice presidents, starting with Al Gore.”
- My friend sells a lot of broken yo-yos with no strings attached.
- I tried drag racing the other day; It’s murder trying to run away in those heels.
- I was out hunting geese the other day, but when they started flying I knew it was game over.
- What is the main cause of dry skin? towels
- Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
- Where does the general deploy his armies? In his sleeves.
- What did the football coach say about the broken machine? give me my quarterback
- How did the two cats end their fight? They hissed and made up.
Also Read: International Joke Day 2021: Top 10 Funny Jokes to Make Your Friends and Relatives Laugh on this Joke Day
- How did the barber win the race? He knew a shortcut!
- I was an accountant for 10 years…the local library wasn’t too happy about it.
- It’s really important to follow the laws of grammar, after all, rules are rules.
- Why didn’t the vampire attack Taylor Swift? She had bad blood.
Hilarious jokes that will make you cry for adults
- Men suck the same way they have sex. – They just put it in and make some noise for three minutes before collapsing on the couch.
- The other day someone asked how you spell “scrotum”. I replied, “You should have asked me last night as it was on the tip of my tongue.”
- What do tofu and a dildo have in common? Both are meat substitutes
- What do you call a useless piece of skin on the penis? a penis
- A naked man broke into a church. The police pursued him and finally caught him at the organ.
- I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry at her lies. It’s not fun to be with her.
- You don’t need a driver’s license to drive me.
- My whole life can be summed up in one sentence: “Well, that didn’t fucking go as planned.”
- I come from an area where “keep talking” means it’s better to shut up.
- The doctor gave me a year to live, so I shot him with my gun. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
- My older relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’re next!” They stopped when I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
- My husband and I made the difficult decision that we don’t want children. If anyone does please just send me their contact details and we can bring them over tomorrow.
- If you were born in September, you can be sure that your parents started the new year with a bang.
- What do you call an IT teacher who corrects his students? A PDF file
- How is virginity like a bubble? One stab and it’s gone
- How is pubic hair like parsley? You push it aside before you start eating.
- How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
- What to do if the cat is dead Play with the neighbor’s pussy instead.
- What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the more difficult it becomes.
- I drank a martini and the waitress yelled, “Anyone know about CPR?” I yelled, “I know the whole alphabet,” and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except for one person.
- My girlfriend left me so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
- Why does a mermaid wear seashells? Because she outgrew her B shells!
Hilarious Jokes That Will Make You Cry: Teens
- What did the French teacher say to the class? I don’t know that I couldn’t understand them.
- Why couldn’t the teacher control her students? She couldn’t find her glasses.
- What did the tomato say to the ketchup bottle? How are you brother?
- What can you catch but not throw? your breath.
- What did the chef say to make the raw potato laugh? This will be your last roast.
- For sale: parachute. Used once, never opened, small stain.
- “The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.”
- “They laughed at my crayon drawing. I laughed at her chalk outlines.”
Also Read: 40+ Funny Dirty Jokes Of The Day
- What gets sharper the more you use it, but dull when you don’t use it at all? students
- What is the difference between ACT and SAT? A letter.
- What do a school and a factory have in common? STEM.
- What to do if there is a kidnapping in high school you wake him up
- I’m mostly Peace, Love and Light and a little Go F*ck Yourself
Hilarious jokes for kids
Q: What did the snowman say to the other snowman?
A: Do you smell carrots?
Q: Why can’t Cinderella play soccer?
A: Because she always runs away from the ball.
Q: Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
A: She will let it go.
Q: Did you hear about the kidnapping in the park?
A: You woke him up.
Q: Why is there a fence around a cemetery?
A: People really want to get in.
Q: What music scares balloons?
A: pop music.
Q: What did the cop say about his belly button?
A: You’re under a vest.
Q: Why does Peter Pan always fly?
A: Because it never lands.
Q: How do you make a handkerchief dance?
A: Put in some boogie.
Q: Why was the broom late?
A: It swept too much.
We hope you enjoyed reading our collection of the top 100 best hilarious jokes that will make you cry.